Trauma involves experiencing, witnessing or even hearing about something that appears overwhelming, and/or is life threatening to self or others. It challenges our sense of trust and safety and our ability to survive. It may be a one off, single incident – something that happens during war, bushfire, or other catastrophic events. It might be an accident, a sexual/physical assault, rape, a medical diagnosis/intervention or severe illness/hospitalisation. It might be also be prolonged suffering at the hands of others, and this can at any age and particularly in childhood.

A type of trauma, not related to a single event, is perhaps more common and yet less recognised than single incident trauma. It is known as attachment or relational trauma. Humans are wired for connection. Relationships with others can hold the most potential to both heal and hurt us.

Attachment trauma can arise from something like being left alone too often, being given too much responsibility, or from having a parent, who is unwell or unable to respond to us in some way, perhaps drug affected or alcoholic. Being bullied, being overly criticised, emotional neglect and deprivation can contribute to a less resilient person. Witnessing others being abused or being abused verbally or physically is also traumatic.

How secure our childhood was also relates to our present and future adult bonding patterns; those with ‘secure’ attachment in the early years being more resilient to the trials and tribulations that life throws up. Insecure attachment can lead to children and adults who are anxious and avoidant of relationships with others – as seen frequently in couples therapy.

Another consequence of interpersonal trauma ( as opposed to a random act of nature) is that those who suffer tend to blame themselves – the child who doesn’t want to lose the illusion of a caring loving parent and thus blames themselves as stupid, the rape victim who blames herself for not taking a cab. If you take responsibility by blaming yourself it creates an illusion of control – yet the victim then has a sense of shame and wrongdoing. Failure to attribute responsibility where it belongs is frequently seen in those with traumatic stress.

Trauma is different for us all. It may come from our childhood, or as an adult – it may be bereavement, pressure causing anxiety and panic, bullying, accidents, unkindness, isolation. Whatever the cause we can become hyper aroused – on flight, fight, freeze mode, constant alert. Or numb, deadened and depressed, or overly compliant and submissive. These normal, natural responses to trauma can bring feelings of shame, despair and self-loathing. We may tur n to shutting everyone out, substance abuse, self- injury, eating disorders. There are ways through – change is possible.

My Approach

My trauma approach, developed through training, research and experience, adapts to each individual. I understand, through personal experience, the importance of connection, safety and awareness of present reality. For some it is important to take things gently and slowly, for others a desire to process specific traumatic events. It is not necessary to retell a story in detail. There are other ways to work, to allow you and your nervous system to realise that the trauma is in the past and that life can even have the potential to be enjoyable.

Trauma can have an impact on our bodies and our minds. We can become hyper-aroused with innocuous incidents creating panic and anxiety and even flashbacks. Or we can be hypo-aroused, numb, deadened to life, depressed, perhaps subservient and compliant to others. These responses may become habits with a negative effect on our life and ways of relating.

If you have questions about trauma and if  trauma counselling is relevant for you please get in touch

 I work with teens, adults and couples to understand what might be the underlying difficulty and allow experiential, lasting change.

I counsel for:

Anxiety, Stress, Depression, Panic Attacks, Phobias, Relationship Difficulties, Anger problems, Addictions etc.

And more specialist work with sexual, physical and emotional abuse, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

The good news however is that healing trauma is possible. There are ways forward, nothing stays the same forever and change IS possible.

If you are ready to talk

Call now for a confidential 10 minute free consultation by calling 0435 438 899 or send your questions using the Contact Form