Couples Therapy

For many of us, our relationships are some of the most important things we have in the world. However, we frequently spend most of our lives forming and “maintaining” our relationships rather than truly experiencing them for all that they are. We watch movies and read books about the pursuit of love and passion and end the stories when the characters finally come together and profess their love and commitment for one another. Unfortunately, life doesn’t end there, yet it so often feels like the passion does. So what do we do?

In couples therapy I want to challenge the idea that things like passion, excitement, sexual attraction, fun, and discovery are just supposed to die off the longer your relationship lasts.

Together, we will build upon your strengths and identify the various obstacles to your relationship, such as your life stressors, painful differences, emotional sensitivities, communication difficulties and patterns of interaction, and past experiences you bring into your relationship.

We usually hide the parts of ourselves we fear from our partners, afraid to reveal our vulnerabilities and pain. It is in this space of fear that we trap ourselves in a single version of our relationship, a version that quickly runs its course and inevitably dies out. Together, we can create a new space for your relationship, one where difficult emotional experiences like fear can be a source of intimacy and connection rather than a source of pain.

Possible Issues Addressed in Couples Therapy

Resentment when expectations are repeatedly not met over time
Communication difficulties between partners
Putting the “we” back into the relationship
Difficulty emotionally connecting together
Painful emotional sensitivities triggered in the relationship
Repetitive and constant themes during conflicts together
High levels of conflict in the relationship
Mismatched desires and needs in the relationship
Anxiety around being open and honest to your partner
Feelings of loneliness and isolation in the relationship
Making time for scheduling one-on-one romantic time together
Betrayal or infidelity in your relationship
Struggles in navigating the integration of one another’s families
Questioning or considering separation or ending the relationship.

Tips to Avoid Resentment Building.

Don’t stew on your anger. Communicate in a constructive, positive manner straight away
Practice listening. Hear between the lines, and understand what your partner is really saying
Monitor your relationships health. Go on regular dates, and numerous small trips rather than one big holiday. Take time to be together alone with no distractions. This is when you have real communication.

What to Expect in Couples Therapy

Our First Session

In our first therapy session, I will conduct an assessment of your situation by inviting both of you to talk about your concerns and the changes you would like to make to improve your relationship. The first session is 110 minutes long to ensure we have time to adequately cover both of your issues.

We will then determine the course of action for our work together. We’ll discuss the most appropriate ways that we can ensure you achieve your goals and clarify what you both desire individually and for the relationship: I then discuss individual or couples sessions, frequency of sessions, strategies, and referrals to other resources if needed.

Most clients say that they feel relief at the end of the first session. In Couple Counselling you will have a neutral, therapeutic space where both of you are able to express thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection, criticism or blame. Through Relationship Counselling it is possible to develop a different sense of yourself and your partner, and begin creating new building blocks specially designed for your specific life.

Subsequent Sessions

The following counselling sessions are about helping you understand the different factors that have contributed to developing and maintaining your relationship issues and finding ways to resolve them. We’ll establish ways of helping you to take action and work towards the goals that you set. From the start, I will provide the information you need for you to get a clearer picture on what’s going on and what factors might be keeping you today from resolving your situation.

As you have a better understanding of your situation, we will explore new ways of thinking, behaving or relating that will enable you to reach your therapy objectives.

Once you’re on your way to making the changes you want, the last step consists of consolidating these changes and making sure that you “stay on track”. I might suggest spacing out therapy sessions for a certain period, which would allow you to continue experiencing the positive changes that you have adopted while benefiting from support sessions.

Duration of Therapy

The duration of couple’s therapy depends on the degree of separation and level of pain, the type of objectives set and both parties level of motivation in the therapeutic process. I will be more able to determine whether therapy will be short, medium or long term once the initial assessment has been completed. You can be assured that meeting your therapeutic objectives and getting relief from your discomfort is as important for me as it is for you since these are my main sources of professional satisfaction. And of course, it is always your choice to remain in therapy.

Ready to get started?

Call now for a confidential 10 minute free consultation by calling 0435 438 899 or send your questions using the Contact Form.

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“That’s the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realise how obvious they’ve been all along”- Madeleine L’Engle.