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8 Ways To Prevent ED

ED affects 40% of men older than 40 and 70% of those over 70

– but few seek help.


If you assess the number of ads promoting drugs that treat erectile dysfunction, or ED, you might believe that modern medicine has revolutionized men’s sexual performance, improved couples’ romantic lives and all but eradicated a disorder that was once only whispered about.

However, what the promotional material for drugs like Viagra tend to leave out is that ED has a much darker side:

It can herald cardiovascular trouble.

This is disturbing.  ED – defined as the inability to achieve or maintain erection for satisfactory sexual intercourse – is so common (over 40% of those over 40, and 70% over 70) yet relatively few men seek help for this and are therefore not being diagnosed with potential heart problems.

ED, It’s Not All in Your Head

Stress frequently is blamed for most cases of ED, hence the sometimes erroneous assumption that once the demands of modern life subside, “things” will invariably get back to normal. While anxiety, depression and stress can all contribute to it can also signal the presence of more ominous medical conditions, including pelvic trauma, nervous system disorders and diseased arteries.

Complicating matters further, ED often stems from several factors, and determining the main driver can be challenging. For example, a history of sexual frustration caused by an underlying organic disorder can lead to feelings of anxiety in subsequent sexual encounters, fuelling a vicious feedback loop.

E.D. and Your Heart

Vascular ED stems from poor blood flow inside arteries that have been hardened and narrowed by the build-up of fat and calcium deposits – a condition known as atherosclerosis, the main culprit behind heart attacks and strokes. Another cause of vascular ED is a condition known as endothelial dysfunction, which is marked by the inability of blood vessels to relax properly. The condition is caused by the insufficient release of an all-important chemical called nitric oxide, which is needed for blood vessel relaxation, the underlying mechanism of erection. Smoking, lack of physical activity, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol fuel both atherosclerosis and endothelial dysfunction.  This is why vascular ED can often signal the presence of processes that also lead to heart attack and stroke.

A 2013 Australian study of 95,000 men with no known heart problems found that those with severe ED had a 60 percent higher risk of developing heart disease and nearly twice the risk of dying compared with those without ED. Other studies have reaffirmed these findings. Research published earlier this year also showed a link between ED and dementia, a condition that often stems from diseased blood vessels in the brain.

Experts estimate that more than 40 percent of men with ED and risk factors for cardiovascular disease are unaware of their heart risk.

Because of the shared risk factors with cardiovascular disease, a diagnosis of vascular ED can signal the presence of atherosclerosis in other vessels, including the arteries of the heart. And the presence of atherosclerosis in those vessels boosts the risk of heart attack or stroke.

Thus, a diagnosis of vascular ED should be heeded as a warning bell, an alarm signalling there may be something wrong in the arteries.

If you already have ED.

Tell your doctor.

Social progress notwithstanding, ED still carries a stigma that can deter some men from discussing this problem. Let your doctor know about it, after all, there’s more at stake than your sex life. Your doctor will help determine the underlying cause of ED and, if necessary, refer you to a specialist for treatment.

A culprit in the medicine cabinet?

Some medications used to treat depression and high blood pressure can cause or exacerbate ED. Certain drugs used to treat heart disease, called nitrates, can make for a dangerous mix when used with an ED medication, as the combination can lead to a precipitous drop in blood pressure.

Get screened for heart disease.

ED may be the very first warning sign of cardiac trouble, even in the absence of other heart-related symptoms. Men with ED and no obvious causes, such as pelvic or neurologic disease, should be evaluated for underlying heart disease before starting ED treatment.

8 Ways to Promote Healthy Erectile Functioning.

1.   Quit smoking. Smoking worsens the function of the cells that line the walls of the arteries, and inflammation contributes to atherosclerosis. Nicotine causes blood vessels to constrict, which can reduce blood flow to the penis.

2.   Exercise regularly. Physical activity can reduce cardiovascular risk, lower stress and improve blood flow.

3.   Eat your way to a healthier heart and better sex life. The same diet that is good for the heart can also prevent ED. Opt for a menu rich in fruits, vegetables, lean protein and legumes, and low in processed and fatty foods.

4.   Maintain normal body weight. Being overweight can cause or worsen ED. Having a waist circumference above 40 inches is associated with lower testosterone, the main male sex hormone.

5.   Control blood pressure and cholesterol levels. These factors are not merely harbingers of heart attack and stroke – they can also cause sexual dysfunction.

6.    If you have diabetes, keep your blood sugar in check. At least half of men with diabetes experience ED symptoms. Controlling blood sugar can help prevent ED and improve symptoms in men who already have ED.

7.   Limit alcohol. You might think that alcohol might get you in the mood, but overindulging can limit sexual performance.

8.   Manage anxiety and stress. Talk to your doctor about healthy ways to manage stress and boost mental health. Consider seeing a mental health expert if things don’t get better.


For a confidential chat on the phone

please call Christina on 0435  438 899




Ten pointers to building lasting relationships.

Couples Counselors  state you need certain critical traits in place when it comes to creating successful relationships.

These traits exist in a real and genuine way because each partner wants to enact them – not because there is pressure from a partner. Once “give and take” becomes “take then give”, resentment and disconnection bubble to the surface and your relationship goes down the gurgler.

To create a successful relationship that truly lasts, many leading relationship counselors suggest you need:


You cannot truly love someone you can’t trust. You can passionately desire them, you can admire them, you can have affection for them, you can be enchanted by them, you can like them enormously, you can even feel sorry for them but that’s not love. When you know you can really rely on another, you have confidence they will be there for you ,you have trust. Trust is an integral part of enduring love because trust provides repose for the heart – a sense of self haven.

2. Acceptance.

Many people talk about tolerance, however, successful couples don’t “tolerate” each other’s quirks and differences — they accept them. They celebrate their similarities AND their unique differences. They recognize that if you can find someone who addresses sixty percent of your wants and needs, you’re trulyfortunate. Acceptance makes you and your partner both feel safe to share your true selves. You don’t fear judgment, because you aren’t being judged.

3. Respect.

Many people confuse paying attention with showing respect. Attention is great, and it shows love, desire, connection, and passion. However, respect is a deeper level of connection, where you value the person at an intrinsic level, with no promise of reciprocation.

4. Affection and passion.

Everyone wants to feel loved, and sustaining physical connection is a big part of that. Whether couples have been together two months or 20 years, the little things like holding hands, shoulder touches, and sitting together make a very big difference. A healthy sex life is the extension of that affection, helping partners maintain a connection level that is simultaneously physical, mental, and emotional.

5. Humour.

Laughter makes everyone smile, feels great, and works like magic to build, maintain, or restore balance (and attraction) in your relationship. Whether it’s simply telling a joke, playfully teasing your partner, or enjoying a ridiculous conversation, humour builds a happy connection that transcends any individual or joint stress and keeps you enjoying each other’s company.

6. Effective disagreements.

Arguments in a relationship are normal. It’s how you handle them and repair communication that makes your relationship last. Talking through issues with active listening (meaning: not just waiting to explain your own views, but rather, really listening to their side/experience and then offering empathy — regardless if you agree or not), being patient, and not judging allows both of you to maintain your opinion/views on the matter and still connect with one another. People in long-term relationships often have a choice: Being happy or being right. Hint: Happy is better!

7. Privacy.

Today, there is an epidemic of over-sharing, and in relationships, this is often a death sentence. Bottom line: What happens in your relationship isn’t for public consumption. It’s none of anyone’s business. Keeping things between you and your partner and excluding others from your inner-workings — including kids, parents, friends, and strangers — is of paramount importance.

8. Maintaining your individuality.

A successful relationship is made up of two individuals. Your partner still has interest in things they like, whether you’re interested in them or not. Having your own lives outside the relationship not only contributes to each of you maintaining a sense of self-worth and self-esteem, but also gives you things, accomplishments, and interests to bring back to your relationship and share with your partner.

9. Support and sharing.

Paying attention to your partner’s activities — as well as sharing your own — keeps couples connected on a day-to-day basis. Lending opinion and insight, or just a compassionate ear when things get tough makes all the difference. When you care about and respect your partner, you want to know what they’re doing and how you can help them achieve their goals — even if that means you see them less. Being invested in their lives is what contributes to you both people feeling valued.

10. Consideration and gratitude.

The moment you’re no longer grateful for your partner is the moment you start disconnecting, becoming complacent, and/or building resentment. Show consideration to and appreciation for your partner — just for being who they are. They, in turn, will feel grateful as well, and that’s a great cycle to be in.

In reviewing these 10 principles of building and maintaining great relationships, one thing becomes obvious : It’s the little things that count most.


Trips and gifts are great, but it’s the everyday behaviours that count more. Additionally, couples need to realize that a family is not the same as a marriage. Families need time to grow and stay connected, and a marriage is no different — but the marriage is between the couple, not everyone in the family.
A couple that takes time to do the things that made them fall in love in the first place will find themselves connected and happy long after the newness of the relationship has passed. A couple that thinks marriage is automatic and takes things for granted will likely find themselves in the divorce court.

For a free 10 minute confidential discussion

phone Christina on 0435 438 899

Adapted from an article first in YourTango.

Single man needing relationship counseling

Relationship Counseling For Singles

Relationship counseling is for singles too!!

  • Are you attracting Insignificant Others into your life?
  • Are these potential partners unavailable in one form or another. Why is this? What is going on?


  • Are you in the same relationship situation you’ve been in before and want out?
  • Maybe you’re with a very similar person and it’s driving you crazy.


Patterns of Behaviour and Patterns of Relationships.

Relationship Counseling can help you highlight both previous Patterns of Behaviour and Patterns of Relationships.

It is only when we reflect on our other relationships – intimate and possibly non-intimate too- that we can begin to see the patterns of who we are and who we tend to become when we engage with others. We can gain insight if we purposely look at our behaviour – were we for instance jealous; generous; reliable; unreliable; dictatorial; a doormat. Have these behaviours worked for us in the past?

Similarly Relationship Counselling can help us reflect on our relationships and gain insight into the types of people we habitually get into relationships with. Have they tended to be with say intellectuals; addicts; commitophobes; committed to More Important Others (spouses, children, family, jealous cat) etc..

When you detect a pattern – or patterns and you realise that you’ve Done It To Yourself Again you may have an Aha moment all on your own and with a blinding flash of the bleeding obvious you see your ‘pattern’.

But most of us don’t. And our friends and loved ones either don’t see it – or don’t want to risk our wrath by pointing it out. This is where qualified relationship counseling gives insight and instruction.

If you are embarrassed at needing to ask a professional how to get more than a date, think of it like going to a chiropractor when your spine is misaligned. Sometimes we humans need help to get our inner selves straightened too.


A Relationship Counselor can point out your possible role of victim – a place of dis-empowerment where things happen to you – you are rootless, pushed about by the vagaries of the universe. In order to reclaim your power you need to work through the painful truth that you are giving out something which is attracting these categories of people into your life. If you give out different ‘vibes’ you attract a different potential Significant Other – the sort you really want to attract.

The Talmud states ‘We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are”

If you think of the mind as a projector, a video camera and our reality, our universe is the projection screen, then our history, our DNA is the film cam that records the experiences of life. We project all manner of things onto the projection screen – we project ourselves – particularly onto other people. When we discuss disparagingly another in Relationship Counselling we might be asked to consider what part of myself do I see in that individual? Painful – yes. Insightful – yes. You don’t do this work on your own!
Relationship Counseling encourages the reclaiming of projections and it starts to enable the reclaiming of power. If you able to reclaim your projection you can choose your projections and you can attract the people into your life that you desire, you have the power to change and create what you want.In Relationship Counseling with Singles, or those who are deciding to leave a relationship – or not-  it is important to dive into questions like:

What part of you is not available for a relationship?
What part of you doesn’t want to commit?

When you dive into these questions with the aid of a professional Relationship Counselor you can address what parts of you unconsciously give off signals that indicate you are not available for love, and you can allow yourself to attract those who want to commit to open their hearts to you.

After working with Relationship Counseling you hopefully will have a much clearer idea of who you want to have in your life, what kind of relationship you want with those individuals and how to revel in them!!


For a free Phone Conversation

please phone Christina on 0435 438 899